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BALANCE APPLICATION
May. 2nd, 2019 02:35 pmFARNESE: Within this cage of stone, I finally realized this isn't the place to which I wish to return. It's simply where my journey began long ago. | |
APP HMD DRUID KAYLA |
Character name: Farnese de Vandymion
Age: 19
Canon: Berserk
Canon point: After arriving at Elfhelm
History: Wiki link
Three key adjectives: Determined, Lonely, Dutiful
Influential Events:
Kindling the Flame
I'd like to have a word with whoever thought it was a good idea to burn witches at the stake in the courtyard right outside the window of a child's bedroom, but I suppose fantasy 1300s Rome was a wilder, less gentle time. As a child, Farnese was terrified of the sounds that emanated from that courtyard. Her parents neglected her and were often not home (her father on business, her mother on ... well, another man, probably), leaving her to fend for herself and her psyche to twist into a person who could cope with these nightmares. If you can't beat them join them, right?
Eventually, a curious Farnese left her bedroom to join the chaos of these burnings. Seeing that others were adding sticks to make the flame burn brighter, she threw kindling into the flame as a person burned alive. This small (but disturbing) act paved the way for a lifelong obsession with fire. She discovered that burning things brought her great comfort (and sometimes a sexual pleasure), and constructed a personal altar in the forest nearby where she could burn things for fun. She would go on to torment her own maids with fire and eventually orchestrate many witch burnings herself, watching with a rather unsettling look as they burned alive.
Fire became an easy way for Farnese to deal with things she didn't know how to deal with -- the warmth of the flame and the warmth it sparked inside her was an addictive substitute for actual love and affection. It was also a gateway drug of sorts for other bizarre forms of torture she began to inflict upon others and herself -- none of the family maids would attend to her as she would torment them in various ways until they quit. And although self-flagellation was a common religious practice, let's just say she enjoyed it a little too much. Being the daughter of an obscenely rich family meant that she was never told no, leaving her despotic tendencies to grow and fester unchecked. Any attention was better than no attention at all, and Farnese found that being a devout sadomasochist was a something that was better than nothing.
The Arranged Marriage; Setting it Ablaze
Like any super rich family is wont to do eventually, Farnese became a pawn in her father's plan to gain more influence and connections by way of an arranged marriage. Who she was engaged to is of no consequence -- rather, her reaction and what followed is far more important.
By the time this arranged marriage rolled around, Farnese had collected a boy off the streets who became her servant. This boy (Serpico) seemed to be the only one capable of tolerating her torture and tantrums, and had been the only one to continue to remain by her side (although that hadn't stopped her from continuing her weird power play of whipping and biting him for any reason she could think of). However, because he continued to remain by her side, he was perhaps the only person Farnese felt she could count on (although she did not dare to say as much).
However, the prospect of an arranged marriage terrified a young Farnese. A girl of barely fourteen even in the best of circumstances is not emotionally ready to be married, especially not to an adult man -- and Farnese's circumstances were less than ideal. In her time of need, she turned to the only one who had consistently been there for her -- Serpico. She asked him to run away with her to escape the arranged marriage, in a rare moment of emotional vulnerability and affection.
Unbeknownst to Farnese, Serpico was her half brother -- and for this reason, he refused her proposal, although he did not explain why. Feeling cornered and shut down with nowhere to go sent Farnese spiraling into a psychotic episode, and she turned to the only thing that she knew would be there for her no matter what: fire.
The Vandymion mansion burned that night. Gossip is impossible to contain, and given that most of the maids of the mansion already feared and hated Farnese ... well, it wasn't long before the other noble families knew about the Demon Child of the Vandymion and Farnese's impending marriage was cancelled. This is important because, ironically, it allowed her to leave the Vandymion home. Her father had papal connections, and so despite her rather unfortunate outburst, she was still awarded a rather prestigious (symbolic, but prestigious nonetheless) position as the Commander of a special division of the army of the Holy See. Although her time with them exacerbated her tyrannical and sadomasochistic tendencies and didn't particularly mature her emotionally, it did afford her the opportunity to meet and regularly interact with people she had never met and were not a part of her family/the family staff, thereby (incrementally) allowing her to learn a little sympathy for others.
And, perhaps even more importantly, it led her to item #3 on this list. These first two items are rather important to who Farnese was, but #3 and #4 are far more important to who Farnese is now.
Hawk of Darkness
The Holy Iron Chain Knights' duties are vastly ceremonial or trivial in nature: they are not a true military unit, and are mostly sent to escort clergy members or investigate supernatural occurrences. Farnese took more of an active role in the latter, seeking out the cause of some rather horrifying occurrences that matched up eerily well with the prophesied "Hawk of Darkness".
It turned out that that Hawk of Darkness was a real person, also known as the Black Swordsman, also also known as Guts. Most of the Holy Iron Chain knights had never once seen battle, Farnese especially, and so when faced with a person who probably slept with a greatsword rather than a pacifier or a blanket as a baby, they were severely outmatched. However, Guts's condition happened to be weakened enough that they were able to detain him for interrogation, believing him to be an omen of evil who should be stopped at all costs.
The most important thing that Guts does here is that he causes Farnese to question her place in the world and the religious upbringing and life that she lives. It is easy to believe something devoutly when no one around you questions it or gives you any cause to think that something might be different; however, in truth, much of the institution of the primary religion in Berserk is oppressive and cruel at best, and much of what they see as a savior or a miracle is in truth the demons that Guts battles constantly to survive.
After a whirlwind of a night in which Farnese is exposed to the world of demons in a most horrifying way... a seed of doubt is planted in her mind. Some of the things she saw that night would change her world forever.
Farnese is not quite yet ready to give up on her way of life just yet. However, she begins to see doubt wherever she goes: the priest they've come to assist seems unnaturally cruel and demonic in nature, and his assistants seem to delight in torturing those they call "sinners". She sees herself in him and the horror that she could become, should she continue to head down the path she sees herself following, and it terrifies her to think that one day she might be seen that way in the eyes of others around her.
When the priest finally turns into an outright demon trying to kill innocent people, Farnese (while terrified) finally has to admit that maybe things are not as they seem -- a terrifying realization to make when hardly anyone else has seen what she has seen. With Serpico by her side as always, after the fight she decides to pursue Guts once more -- this time not to kill him, but to join him, humbling herself in the hopes that he will teach her more about the world as it truly is. It's a huge act of bravery on her part, a girl who has always been trapped behind stone walls or in figurative chains, to step out of that box into what she knows is going to be a wild, unforgiving and dangerous unknown. Humbling herself enough to be taught by another is important as later, she also becomes the student of someone much younger than her when learning how to do magic -- two things she wouldn't have been caught dead doing even a year prior.
Guardian of the Weak; Student of the Strong
Finally, we come to the person who perhaps spurred the most change in Farnese and how she treats others: Casca. Once a mighty warrior (though until one of the most recent chapters, Farnese had no idea about her past), her mind has been rendered nearly useless by trauma, and for the most part seems to act and think like a child.
When Guts, Farnese and Serpico escaped the incident at Albion, Guts brought Casca with him -- she had been sought after by Mozgus as a witch, and killing him meant that they could flee without consequence. However, Guts is innately tied to Casca's trauma that led to her mental breakdown, causing her to fear and reject him. Strangely enough, when Farnese joined the party, despite being a part of the faction that had been actively pursuing her... Casca seemed to feel safe with Farnese.
Now, as we all know by now, emotions and compassion have never been Farnese's strong suit. Neither is ... well, much of anything, as she discovers upon choosing to live for herself rather than have everything done for her by servants and attendants. But Guts can't deny that Casca is drawn to the girl, and keeping Casca calm helps him be able to fight off the monsters that plague them each night -- so, he eventually entrusts Casca's safety to her.
This is a HUGE and terrifying responsibility, but being as duty-driven as Farnese is, she takes it seriously. She is desperate to gain Guts' attention in a positive way, and quickly grows fond of Casca herself (initially, perhaps, because she gives Farnese positive attention; but eventually she does grow to have a true bond with her) -- both of which lead her to learn how to take on responsibility, what it means to truly put your life on the line for another person, and how to become a person trying to do good. Serpico, who has been with her for at least half her life now, even seems remarkably jealous of how much Guts and Casca have made a positive impact on Farnese where he could not.
At no other time in her life would she have been so receptive, then, to being able to potentially attain a power that could help protect her new charge. This is where Schierke comes in -- a powerful young witch who joins the party some time after Farnese and Serpico. Although Farnese initially has a hard time overcoming her skepticism and fear of magic and what it can do, she quickly sees that in the right hands it can be used to save lives and protect others -- something she desperately wishes to be able to do well. Learning about magic and how to use it herself opens her mind further to the possibilities of the world and what she is capable of, as well as learning more about what exists beyond the mortal plane that she's never known much outside of. Joining Guts's party as a whole brings out the protectiveness in her, gives her friends that actually care about her as a human and not a pawn to be used to make more money, and pushes her outside of her comfort zone to become a better person.
Link to Samples: Link to Sample 1; Link to Sample 2
Chosen path: Druid
5 Abilities: 4 path actions: Create Bonfire, Thorn Whip, Goodberry, Speak With Plants
1 canon power:
I'll leave whether or not she can actually enter the Astral World or something similar (it's pretty similar to D&D's Astral Plane, but since it's often reserved for a little bit higher level spells I would totally understand if you didn't want to go there just yet) up to the mods. At the very least, I would like it if it would allow her body (which remains wherever she left it and cannot move on its own) to separate from her spirit, which can then roam freely and can observe the human world from another location as long as she concentrates.
Why this path?: I think it most closely matches the magic that Farnese was learning at home, with the addition of some animal transformation (which I think she will be ecstatic about). Witches in Berserk draw their power from spirits in nature and channel those spirits through themselves, so I think it'll be something she's comfortable with while still allowing her to learn some new skills she thinks her teacher would be proud of.
blurb code by photosynthesis